| Ministering
To Preteens And Teens |
Many
teens and preteens are now being touched by the renewal/revival movement.
Supernatural encounters with the Holy Spirit have impacted these youngsters
as healing, deliverance and miracles are taking place. What a refreshing
change from the old sterile nominal religious programs that had been offered
for so long. Today our youngsters are getting hold of God in a real way.
Not only are church kids being turned on to the Lord, but large numbers
of their unsaved friends are coming into the kingdom. This generation has
been under tremendous attack by Satan and the concern for us leaders is
that we had thought that we had lost them. Praise God! the battle isn't
over yet, with God's strategy we are rescuing our children back from Satan.
Apart from ministering to youth/children
pastors and parents, I also minister to children and teens, with wonderful
results. Yet we are still only scratching the surface of the need, even
though I am very encouraged with the affects of renewal/revival movement,
seeing church-wise kids being turned around in our particular ministry,
and also other ministries having similar responses.
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Why
Are Kids Getting Messed Up?
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Just recently there was a report on CNN news
about a drug pusher who was HIV positive and had infected at least 75 women
from a small town near New York with the aids virus. Many of these were
young teens some as young as thirteen years. One thirteen year old black
girl began to warn other young girls about the kind of guys they sleep with.
She mentioned the dangers of unprotected sex and wrong relationships. Of
course the warning was almost a total waste of time, because preteens and
teens seldom, if ever read the news or watch it on TV They have little or
no interest in what is going on in the world. Theirs is a world of teenage
gangs, drugs, illicit sex, M.T.V. rock music, clothes, fashion, shopping
malls, games, sports and hanging out with others of their own age and interests.
The chances of them hearing the warnings like the one mentioned is remote.
If these youngsters have any parental authority in their lives it is unlikely
that their mother or father will inform them of world events. The sad thing
about this situation is there appeared to be no moral godly instruction
for them. They are the products of our immoral, hedonistic, godless, society.
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| Dealing
With Church Kids |
Unfortunately even children with a religious
background are not immune. "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child."
(Prov.22:15). When numbers of children gather and hang out together without
wise godly counsel and oversight from adults then the foolishness is multiplied.
"For at the window of my house I looked through my lattice, and saw among
the simple, I perceived among the youths, a young man devoid of understanding,"
(Prov.7:6-7). Almost in every case where the problem of stupidity (making
wrong choices) in youngsters exists, parents are to blame. "Train up a
child in the way that he should go and when he is old [or independent]
he will not depart from it." (Prov 22:6). This is a command and a promise
to us as parents.
Some Christian leaders have said that we
must allow our children choices. Although we should pray for them we cannot
expect them to necessarily follow us in our walk with the Lord. Yet the
Apostle Paul said, "Follow me even as I follow the Lord" (1.Cor.11:1).
For Christians, our children are our first disciples. Train up a child
in the way he should go, not the way he or his friends may want him to
go. Children make their own choices when they become independent. Scripturally
they qualify for independence (not at a certain given age), but when they
become responsible. (If a teenager is irresponsible and a "Bozo" at age
17 years and 364 days, when he or she wakes up the next morning at age
18, they will not have become responsible overnight. Age is not the criteria,
some people never grow up.) Children are deemed responsible when they have
proved to be trustworthy, and it is through obedience that they qualify
to be trusted. If a child is disobedient in front of us, he or she is certainly
not going to obey us behind our backs. (see Eph.6:1-4. Prov.29:15).
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| What
Our Children Want |
All children desire to be independent. They
want to choose for themselves, ie. the clothes they wear, the food they
eat, their friends, TV programs. They don't like curfews or restraint. They
think they can make their own decisions before they are ready. Even little
children want to drive the car, ask them! "I can do it, let me try," they
often say. The story of the prodigal son, shows the Father's heart towards
His children, even though the boy was stubborn and self-willed. As soon
as the son repented, his Father ran to meet him and welcome him back. This
parable is not a teaching on allowing your children to do their own thing,
but on God's compassion and forgiveness. If our children are permitted to
rebel and go their own way, they will end up as prodigals and some may never
come back. (see Lk.15:11-32. 2.Pet.2:22.) We know that it is easy for the
philosophy of our society to infiltrate the minds of church parents and
kids. If a young person does some horrible act or crime many quickly rally
to their defense. The argument is usually about how the teen was abused
as a child, had bad role models, was persecuted by his school mates, and
hated and beaten by his father. Although this has a element of truth, as
these things do happen to people, (very few people can claim to have a perfect
childhood) it does not relieve them of personal responsibility.
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| Teenager
Joseph |
Using our liberal society's argument,
if anybody had good reason to turn out bad and go to drugs and violence
it would have been the biblical character, Joseph! The main difference
is that our liberal society does not take God into consideration and Joseph
never failed to see the hand of God in his life. After receiving two dreams
from the Lord which I'm sure he thought would bring blessing, instead brought
great trouble. His brothers planned to kill him, and throw him in a pit,
but then sold him as a slave. But he did not turn negative and have a bad
attitude. Even when he was put him in prison after being falsely accused
by Potiphar's wife, he still didn't have a revengeful attitude. (see Gen.37-39).
When he was finally vindicated and Pharaoh promoted him, he did not have
a pay-back plan to destroy his brothers when they came to buy grain. (see
Gen.40-44). Joseph saw God's divine plan overruling the sinful human plans
of man. What man intended for evil, God meant it for good. "And Joseph
said to his brothers, Please come near to me." And they came near. And
he said: `I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. But now,
do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me
here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For these two years
the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which
there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. And God sent me before you
to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by
a great deliverance. So now it was not you who sent me here, but God; and
He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler
throughout all the land of Egypt.'" (Gen.45:4-7).
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| Causes
Of Rebellion |
Many parents come to me to tell me that their
child is in rebellion. In most cases it started when he or she was allowed
to associate with ungodly youngsters. "Do not be deceived; Evil company
corrupts good habits." (1.Cor.15:33). Some may argue that to keep your children
from associating with children of the world is being a legalistic Pharisee.
"After all Jesus ate with sinners." I met a mother who told me that her
teenage son was spending all his time with his non-Christians friends. When
she queried the wisdom of that, he argued that he had to do that in order
to witness to them about Jesus. After asking her what had been the result
of this, I found out that he was not going to church and he had abandoned
all his Christian friends and he was participating in drugs and parties.
The purpose for his hanging out with ungodly kids was different from what
he had told his mother. If our children desire to be friendly with ungodly
children we need to know their real intentions. I believe that we are to
be friendly to non-Christians and try to help them and minister to them
- but make them our best friends? - How can a Christian have a unbeliever
as their best friend? What do they have in common? They obviously have no
spiritual fellowship, so it must be on the carnal level. Recently I was
ministering at a retreat in Oregon. After I had spoken, a young girl of
about fifteen, asked me if people ever disagreed with me. I said, "sometimes."
"Well I disagree with what you said. I think its all right to watch any
kind of movie you like. I also think its all right to date non-Christians
and even marry one if you want to. My parents agree with me, for we have
come out of all that legalistic church junk." I made some other comments
and then she got mad and said, "Are you saying that me and my parents are
not Christians?" If the cap fits wear it. Another thing that can cause rebellion
is when one of the parents is not there for the child. This often happens
in divorce or only having a single parent. For instance, if a father cannot
show love and affection for his daughter, she may find it in other places,
and there will always be some fleshy unregenerate guy that will be happy
to accommodate her. When I do my family seminars in churches the people
that are usually having the most problems with their children don't bother
to show up. Then after I have left they are still complaining about the
family woes they are experiencing. God gives us answers and keys, but often
we don't want them.
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| Free
Choice? |
Children are given choices today at a
very young age. In my travels I stay in hotels almost every week. When
coming down for breakfast I have on many occasions seen a mother taking
her three year old through the breakfast bar and asking what he/she wants
to eat. Are children of that age capable to making a good dietary choice
for themselves? I think not. When my children were small I never gave them
choices. I did not tell them that there was a broad way and a narrow way.
I only told them about the narrow way. The broad way was not a viable option.
A fence at the top of the cliff is better than a ambulance service at the
bottom.
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| Danger
Of Public Schools |
Public schools easily become a breeding
ground for negative influence and relationships among children today. Mix
large numbers of good apples with a few bad ones and all will become finally
bad. "A little leaven leavens the whole lump." (Gal.5:9). Although church
youth programs and children's ministry can help to influence youngsters,
we parents are the real key. Weeds grow and thrive in a garden because
of neglect. When we parents neglect to train our children for God's purpose
and destiny, then their lives produce weeds, instead of fruit and flowers.
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| Wrong
Concept For Acceptance |
Many young teenage and preteen girls major
on their own bodies and how they look. They same goes for boys. As they
develop and become shapely they want to attract the attention of boys.
Many of them do all that they can to enhance their appearance and sex appeal.
They seem to think this will make them worthwhile and they will be popular
with the opposite sex. How they dress and how they appear to their peers
becomes of utmost importance. Although it is natural for youngsters to
want to look attractive, if that is the only thing they have going for
them, then they will have a problem. They will probably end up being abused
and in trouble. The difficulty for many of our youngsters, is that their
physical growth and sexual attractiveness, far outweighs their spiritual
maturity and character. Physical growth doesn't need much working on, but
character and spirituality does. After some of these have been sexually
taken advantage of, they then have to think of other things to keep up
with their peers and to feel important. So outrageous appearance and behavior
is practiced to create an attention-getting personality. It doesn't matter
if its negative behavior as long as it gets them attention. For this is
what children crave for. If they can't get our attention by being good,
then they will be bad. One way or other they will get the attention they
feel they deserve.
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| Problems
With Religious Education |
If our children are only traditional Christians,
(meaning they were brought up to be a Christian by learning to give the
right answers), they will not survive the temptations of the world, the
flesh, and the devil. Their character and spiritually will be weak or non
existent. They must have a real faith, and the power of the Holy Spirit
working in their lives. Religion, even orthodox religion, will not bring
them through. I have met so many preteens and teens that have been in church
most of their lives and have never even read the four gospels through. They
only know a few bits and pieces of scripture, like an unfinished jigsaw
puzzle. How can they understand what Jesus said; how He felt; how He responded
to the people of His day, and how they responded to Him? How will our youngsters
make it without the power of the Holy Spirit working in their lives? Recently
I was preaching that many problems people have are due to lack of revelation.
The Lord said, "ask the teens and preteens if they know what the word `revelation'
means." Not one could answer me. We assume that our youngsters understand
biblical terms, when many of them are ignorant. I had to explain to them
what revelation meant. -To reveal, to show something that is hidden.- To
really get their attention, I majored on how good parents want to children
to wear appropriate clothes and not a wear a dress or bathing suit that
is too revealing. Some kids in church don't have a clue what God is doing
or saying, because they have no spiritual insight. They are wise in their
own eyes. They don't listen to the preachers, but fool around, or go to
sleep in church. ". . .You have hidden these things from the wise and the
prudent and have revealed them to babes." (Mat.11:25). I have told parents,
children and youth pastors alike, its time to seriously disciple our children.
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| Innocent
Or Depraved? |
Some people believe that children are
born innocent little angels, but all humans are born with a propensity
to sin. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden they hid themselves. When
God came down to find them hiding and afraid, He asked them if they ate
of the forbidden fruit. Adam blamed the woman and the woman blamed the
serpent. Our original parents sin of passing the buck has been passed down
through the generations. (no pun intended) We and our children have inherited
the fallen Adamic nature. Many times parents come into a room when siblings
are fighting and arguing. "Who started it?" one of the parents asks. "It
was her." "Uh! Uh! it was Him." "No! she started it." So the debate continues.
They have inherited this from their original grandparents. A vase is suddenly
broken in the room where the children are. The parent comes rushing in.
"How did that get broken? "I don't know, I never touched it." replies the
child. "Well what happened?" "I just looked at it and it fell of the table
all by itself." The Adamic nature will not own up to responsibility.
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| Destiny
And Purpose |
I have seen teenagers wearing tee-shirts
with the slogan "Born to Party" on them. We were not born to party. "Before
I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified
you; And ordained you to be a prophet to the nations." (Jer.1:5). When
our children see that God has a wonderful destiny and purpose for them
they will be inclined to develop their character and spiritual walk. When
they realize that they are important to God, and He wants to anoint them
and use them regardless of their age, they will become excited and respond
to God's purposes.
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| Ten
Commandants For Parents |
Let us as parents do the following things:-
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Pray for our children and speak God's destiny
in their lives.
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If they behave badly don't tell them that
they are no-good and will amount to nothing. That's how you put a curse
on them.
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Tell them, that they are called to be part
of God's royal family with an awesome destiny on their lives, so stop behaving
like monkeys.
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Expose them to radical preaching and to churches
that are in revival or renewal.
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Make sure they are being discipled with good
sound teaching.
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Plant in them a desire to serve and minister.
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Give them opportunities to go on missions.
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Expose them to good role models and spiritual
friends.
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If you are a single parent, find some godly
adults to become a surrogate mother or father and help speak into their
lives.
- Be actively involved in serving the Lord and
train your children for ministry in the same way as you trained them
to tie their own shoelaces.
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I do, you watch.
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I do, you help.
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You do, I help.
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You do, I watch.
The only limitations youngster have is what
we adults put on them.
David Walters
11/20/97
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